I Had To Lose Myself to Find You
by Prodigy X19
Summary: Through all his biggest life moments, everyone's told him to be strong. But they can only tell him so many times before giving up is the only option; Give up and let life take him where it may. And it will take Peeta Mellark to the one person he never knew he needed. AU, potential OOC, rated M for mature content up ahead
1. Chapter 1

**So...I got bored and started writing again. **

**As usual, I don't mean to copy anyone's work. If there are similar stories, I don't know but my intention is to write something that came from my head and mine alone. **

******My requirements are still the same; one like, fav, or follow and this story will continue. I only need one person who wants to read it for me to continue. **

**I'll be the first to say I'm not a big fan of stories that start and don't have any kind of reference to both of the main characters, but I'm asking for some time here. Bear with me and hopefully the story will be entertaining. With that said, if you can wait, they'll meet in a couple of chapters. Again, bear with me. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just working with the idea.**

* * *

For the longest time, it was like Peeta was just existing in a world he didn't belong to. He used to be a happy person, but that was a long time ago; back when his mother was around. His mother, she was all he ever had; well, her and his paternal grandmother.

As a boy, he had been a happy, joyful child. His mother dedicated all her attention to him because he was the baby and his two older brothers were long gone from home. You wouldn't see Peeta complaining though. His mother loved him dearly; he was the twinkle in her eye. She loved him for many reasons, one being that he was a constant reminder of what used to be for her. Peeta took after his father. Of the three boys, he was the only one who was blonde blue eyed and he reminded his mother of a better time, when his father, her husband, was always around; blissful and complacent with the smallest of blessings.

She didn't resent Peeta for being that reminder, instead she adored him more, clinging to the hope that her husband might one day come around.

You see, there was a time when Albert and Mary Mellark had been happy in a tiny little cottage on the edge of the lake, along with meaningless, dead-end jobs. They had both runaway from their families and eloped; his parents never approved of her and hers of him. But as his wife, became his son, then two sons, by the time Peeta came around, Albert Mellark had made something of himself. He was and is one of the wealthiest men alive. Unfortunately for the Mellarks, his new career path came with long times away from home. She was okay with a few days, then a few months, but when she only saw her husband a couple times annually, she almost lost herself; until baby Peeta made an appearance.

It had happened one night, she and him had been arguing over his sudden disappearance and lack of attention towards his family. Their sons were grown and he had missed all of it. She yelled, he shouted, she cried, and he stormed out. But when he came back with the most simplest displays of affection, to apologize, and not one of those crazy, lavishly extravagant gifts she knew they could now afford, she knew she hadn't completely lost her husband. He left to go back to his business ventures after and nine months later, Peeta came into the world.

So, she was never sad about Peeta being born because every time she looked into his eyes, she was reminded that he was most definitely his father's son; that her husband was a good man and she might still be able to have what they once had. She refused to believe that the man she married was gone and when she would doubt it, she just had to look at her Peeta.

Mary spoiled her son to no end, giving him everything his brothers were never able to have. She also became aware of her husband's mother's attempts at getting back into his life. He had refused her attempts, claiming she had shunned him out of her life and he would do the same. Mary, on the other hand, could only hope her parents thought of her or even remembered her before they had also turned from her. She knew his mother wasn't trying to weasel her way back for monetary reasons; Lucinda Mellark was of old money and Albert had come from all that, but abandoned all of it to marry his wife. Lucinda was trying to make everything right with her son and his family and whatever the reason, she was just another thing Mary's sons never had; so Peeta got all her attention. Albert's mother became another person who loved Peeta dearly and, again, Mary wasn't going to deny her son anything.

Life had been good for the first nine years of Peeta's life. He had a mother and grandmother who loved him more than life itself; a father, who he rarely ever saw or knew existed, but he sent him presents and told him he loved him in his birthday card, so young Peeta was happy with that. He never could complain that he was hungry or lacked a place to sleep as the mansion he grew up in was more than adequate.

But of course, with all the blessings in his life, it couldn't all last. His mother was struck with a sudden illness only a couple months from his tenth birthday. He sat by her bed everyday, waiting and hoping that it was simply the flu and it would all pass. And it did pass, or rather she did a few weeks later. He was with his two older brothers and his grandmother on that day, when his mother had whispered to him to be strong. Peeta had tried so very hard to heed her words, but he couldn't be when his strength died with her. He cried so much that day and at the funeral; at ten years old, Peeta had lost himself in a depression so deep that even his grandmother or the local doctors could get him through.

So when his father came around a few months later, he wasn't having any of it. He claimed that _his son, a Mellark, was no coward_. He had quickly snatched him out from his mother's, Peeta's grandmother's, care and took him away. But that only made things worse and at ten years old, Peeta resented his father for taking that last bit of hope away from him. His small, incapable mind saw a flicker of light and started to think that maybe his father was finally living up to his title; that he was going to finally take care of him like a parent would.

Peeta was sadly mistaken when his father interned him into the best hospital the country had available. He remembers his father dropping to one knee in front of him and telling him to _be strong._ Peeta's world shattered right in front of him yet again. His mother was gone, his grandmother as well, and now his father had abandoned him. As someone placed a hand on his shoulder, Peeta looked up at the man, who wore a smile on his face, and wondered how long this person would be in his life. Would they abandon him too?

* * *

His first week there, Peeta spent staring at walls and looking through the various doctors who examined him. It was only when his grandmother came to visit that his eyes beamed with happiness. They had hugged each other tightly as she explained to him what was happening, but his young age couldn't make any sense of it. So an hour later, when her visitation was up, Peeta clung to her and cried as he was forcibly removed from her grasp. His grandmother quickly swallowed up her tears, turned, and left the hospital. Peeta thought it was all a rouse, an incredibly crude thing to do; to tease a child with something they so desperately craved, for what? If it was to get something out him, the doctors would get nothing out of him.

A week and no progress later, his grandmother came back. She tried again to explain the situation to young Peeta, but Peeta knew this was a trick. His grandmother was going to come for a little bit in hopes that the doctors could figure out what was wrong; well, Peeta was still not having any of it. It wasn't until Peeta realized that his grandmother, who came every week like clockwork, was coming only for him and not at the request of anybody, that he finally began to listen. She had tried everything to get him out of this place, but his father had guardianship and his wishes were final. So until Peeta could leave, his grandmother would come visit him every week. _When could he leave, _he had asked, but she didn't know; _only until he got better_, everyone was telling him. Peeta nodded and hugged his grandmother tightly that day with the new resolve that he would so that he could go home with her one day.

Weeks turned into months, months to years, until Peeta lost track of time. He thought he was better now; a little recluse and he didn't smile as much but overall better. Still, he had to earn privileges to go outside and be left alone with a colored pencil, which he didn't understand. He only ever found out why they monitored him so closely when one of the patients there had told him. _They're afraid you're going to stab yourself in the throat._ The man had laughed and patted him on the back before continuing his morning workout through the rec hall. Peeta never, not once, thought of killing himself and apparently the pencil in his hand could be used to complete said task.

He was even doing exceptionally well in school, despite the situation. Apparently, the country's best hospital was also one of the country's best boarding schools. When they told him he was well enough to start school, Peeta had genuinely been happy. He was finally going to be able to leave, walk outside, and just get some fresh air; but the doctors had always been dream squashers. The school was connected through a simple set of hallways to the hospital, which meant he was unable to go outside even for a minute of fresh air.

Still, school was a breath of fresh air in a way. Everyone there was a lot different from the hospital. Peeta was surprised he didn't send out signals that he wasn't one of them or that they made him wear some indicator that he was part of the _other_ wing to this place. As he looked around the room his first day of school, his classmates were just that. Kids his age, learning. Peeta scratched his head and wondered if any of them were in the situation he was in, but he didn't recognize any of them. He guessed that they were _normal_, whatever that word meant.

* * *

He was fourteen when he met Finnick Odair. Finnick was a bad boy gone wild. He never really made it known if it was his crazy way of living that got him in here, but one thing was clear; he was smart. He quickly settled into the routine of the hospital, but that was just a to trick the doctors. They thought he was _okay, _a smooth talker, and instantly gave him privileges it took years for Peeta to earn. Among the patients, he became the guy you go to when you needed something. There were also rumors that he was getting real _familiar_ with not only the female patients, but staff as well.

Because Peeta and him seemed to be at the complete opposite end of the polar caps, they instantly hit it off and became friends. Finnick was the first one to introduce Peeta to drinking and other _recreational_ drugs. _In moderation,_ Finnick would always tell him. It always was for Peeta. He was scared out of his wits that the hospital staff would find out and revoke all his privileges; if they took away his crayons one more time because they thought he would manufacture a shank, he was really going to lose it.

Unlike Peeta, Finnick's family, or whoever was sponsoring him into the hospital program, couldn't afford to keep him boarded in the hospital. Someone wanted for him to get better because it definitely wasn't Finnick. He wasn't invested in the program; he thought it was all a con or some kind of game. But his lack of funds meant he could come and go as he pleased, so he was a valuable asset to the patients. It was why he was the go-to guy; he had access to outside goodies most of them didn't. It was one of those days he had run out for some more _inventory_ that he came back with a new resolve.

_Show me how to get better, _Finn had asked of him one day as he sat next to Peeta. His only advisement was to actually listen to the doctors, but honestly Peeta didn't know what it took to be cleared from this hospital. He'd been there five years and counting; there was no end in sight for him. Finn had confessed to him that he had met the most beautiful girls ever and he was going to get better for her.

And one day he did. Finn had hugged Peeta tightly as he got ready to leave. _She's having my baby,_ he whispered to Peeta. He could only wish Finn the best. Finn promised to send him a picture when his child was born. _And you have to get better too, so that my kid can know their godfather._ He patted Peeta's shoulder one last time before he left leaving Peeta to contemplate Finn's words. They had become great friends in his two year stay, but how had he become a godfather all of a sudden? It didn't matter though; Peeta was never getting out of this place.

* * *

It was a year later that Peeta met a young woman by the name of Annie. Like him, she had fallen into a depression when her husband died. _At least he died living his dream,_ she had said one day. Peeta's heart tore some when she showed him the picture of her family; it was a picture of his friend Finnick, their son, Finn Jr., and her. She was trying to get better for her son. Peeta admired Annie curiously. So she was the reason for Finn's turn around. She was nice and Peeta figured she had to have some sort of magical powers to have gotten Finn to turn his crazy act around and settle down. It made him sad to think that Finn had passed, but as he looked down at the picture in his hands, he wondered if him being the godfather was actually official or not. Regardless, Peeta talked to his grandmother and asked her to find out Finn Jr.'s whereabouts.

It wasn't long before Annie raved about how Finn Jr. had a long lost relative. She was in contact with him and he had let her know his godfather had sent him a gift. Peeta never let her know it was him; he didn't care if it was unofficial. If anything, Peeta felt he owed it to Finn for always being a great friend. One day when he got better, he'd meet his godson like his friend had asked.

* * *

It wasn't until he turned eighteen that he was able to leave the hospital. He finally found out why it was that they kept him there so long. Daddy had a lot of money invested in him and in that place. By them telling his father that he was better meant taking away a huge source of their income. Peeta had scoffed at the situation, but in a way, he was grateful. Had he not been there so long, he never would have met Finn and Annie; he was thankful for them and always would be.

The doctors tried everything to get him to stay, but they couldn't keep him there any longer. The only other option they threw at him was to stay and learn, at the school; that it wasn't healthy for him to just rip out what has been the norm for him for the last eight years of his life.

"You're not actually buying any of this horseshit?" His grandmother whispered harshly to him. Peeta chuckled as he had never heard his grandmother curse. He knew that he had been one of the hospital's most lucrative patient. He didn't know how much money his father had paid for his attendance both there and at school. He also knew that the hospital could have put whatever price on it and his father would have paid. _At least he cared,_ Peeta thought, but then quickly shook his head. His father didn't care. As far as Peeta knew, his father's assistant probably just let him know that he had another expense here, and his father would have never even batted an eye at the price or what it was for. Not once, did he even come to visit.

"How much to stay at school? Go to college?" Peeta asks as he walks over to the doctors. They look at each other dumbly, trying to come up with some reasonably overestimated number.

"Well, it is one of the top schools in the country…" says one.

"Very exclusive…" says another.

"How much?" Peeta asks more forcibly.

"$50,000 a year?" One of them says.

"You mean a semester?" Peeta looks between them. "I mean, it is one of the top schools in the country and my father would pay _anything_ for his son to get the very best education possible…" he adds.

"$100,000 a year." One of the doctors says.

"And I'm going to need money for living expenses and all that, seeing that I'm going to be able to come and go as I please…I think another hundred grand should suffice…."

"Peeta…" His grandmother tries.

"Nama, I can't deny myself an education." He tells her as he turns to hug her. "Besides, it's pocket change for dear old dad and I think he owes me that much."

"He owes you so much more."

"Well, I'll take what I can get."

Peeta agreed to go back to school. He had already graduated high school, so college was up next. He managed to take on the four year workload and finish it within a little over two years. Even after everything, the doctors and his professors had been beyond proud of his accomplishments. So the second time he left, he found himself scared at what the real world had for him. He had missed so much of it. What if he relapsed and ended right back here? His grandmother's soothing hand on his shoulder was the only thing he needed to know that he was going to be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**I didn't mean to upload this chapter so late but I've been busy. I'll get the next chapter, their initial meeting, up before Christmas. Thank you to all who've favorited, followed, and reviewed. I'll consider it a real test if I can keep it going once the story officially starts. Thanks again. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just working with the idea. **

* * *

He didn't even want to see his father. It had been a cool decade since the last time they had laid eyes on each other. Peeta never thought that he would hate someone so badly, but his father was the only occupant on that list. He suddenly became overjoyed with the thought of the school still charging him for his stay there. Yes, the school was still charging Sr. Mellark the money for Peeta's stay even though he was no longer in attendance; it was Peeta's idea after all. He told them to keep charging him and if it was ever discovered or taken to legal matters, Peeta would vouch for the doctors. He would say that he was there, studying, recovering from alcoholism, he didn't care as long as his father got what was coming to him.

His grandmother had talked him into this mess. Peeta was to attend this gala as his homecoming. As far as everyone knew, the youngest Mellark, was away, partying, living off his youth in the best way possible. No one knew the truth of how he had been sent to some Bellevue wannabe and Peeta had told his grandmother that if one person pissed him off in there, he would go off and tell everyone how his father had earned that father-of-the-year award everyone seemed to think he deserved. _Calm down, I'll be there,_ she told him and that's all he needed.

When he walked through the doors of the gala, everyone looked at him as if they'd seen a ghost. _Am I not fitting in already? _Apparently, these people could tell he was an outsider because they were all looking at him strangely. Peeta had thought that he had prepared himself for this; he had been doing it almost his entire life. Suave smiles, quick nods, chin up, shoulders straight; _that's what etiquette class was for right?_ He had been there so long that the school had also taught him how a young gentleman should behave. He hated that class with all he was.

"You're the youngest Mellark…" A man extends his hand out to Peeta, which he takes and shakes firmly. He didn't get a chance to ask before the man continued. "The similarity is uncanny!"

So he looked like his father, _Great, _he mumbles. The man is approached by several others who graciously shake Peeta's hand and introduce themselves to him. They all begin to talk about business endeavors and Peeta can't help but nod along. For the first time in the real world, he actually understood what people were saying to him. When he started college, he didn't know what he wanted to major in, but he met a business professor who liked to rant about the subject. Strangely, Peeta understood and couldn't help but indulge the man to get more out of him. He liked business. He understood it. Apparently, it ran in the family.

His mission in life, became to take his father's company right from under him. Then Peeta thought, if his father was as smart as he was in business, he'd never allow that to happen. So then he thought, maybe he'd wait his father out; eventually, he'd retire and who better to take over then his very own son. But that would take too long and Peeta wasn't looking to make his father happy. His final option, invest and build up his own empire, one to rival his father's.

Peeta had already started. Fortunately, his father was still funding him and it was _his_ money that he was using to invest, so no risk. It was going well so far, but he was new to this game. He knew the basics, the rules, and the laws, but investments wasn't really his strongest class in college. That's what networking was for anyway. Several of his college buddies were better at it then him and they were more than happy to help not only a Mellark, but a friend.

Peeta finishes explaining some complex business analogy to the group. The men look at him seriously, shaking their heads appreciatively. One of them pats his back almost like he was proud of him. Peeta smirks at the man. "If you ever need any money, well, I feel safe with my money in your hands." The other men agree with him as they all begin talk more and laugh some more. Peeta's honestly too engrossed with their conversation to realize that a young woman has joined their group. The men momentarily stop their talking to welcome her. She's more interested in Peeta and she makes it obvious by hooking his arm and standing on her toes to ask him for a dance. He smiles politely before excusing himself from the group.

Peeta hides his apathy well as he follows the woman to the dance floor. He looks towards the front door. Where was his grandmother anyway?

Peeta took the lead, grabbing the young woman's hand as she placed the other on his shoulder. His other hand went to her waist. She giggled as he touched her and they began to sway to the slow song playing. Peeta was thankful that she didn't want to talk because he really wasn't up for it. She giggled some more while he spun her around and back into him. She was really enjoying his attention and Peeta only prayed that someone would save him from this.

"Can I steal her from you," someone asked and Peeta was more than grateful to oblige. He nodded his head to the man after he quickly brought the woman's hand up to his lips and kissed it politely making her giggle. He gave the woman a quick nod before walking away from the couple.

As he walked over to some wall he could lean against, he paused mid step. A man a bit shorter than him, blonde with blue eyes that matched his was mingling with a group. He said something and the group laughed. Peeta could only stare in their direction. Not that there weren't other blonde, blue-eyed people in the room, but that man was undeniably his father. His appearance was truly uncanny and even from where Peeta was standing the man oozed charm which was something Peeta seemed to do even involuntarily. Dear old dad was only a few feet away and Peeta's jaw clenched. He had the right mind to stomp his way over and yell a hundred obscenities; give the man a piece of his mind and find out the answers to so many questions that had caused his built up resentment.

But the thought was all in his mind and that's where it would stay. He could picture himself doing it, but lacked the courage. Could he really go up to the man who had basically locked him up for half his life? He didn't want to. He feared the worst and he had promised his grandmother he would behave. "Son,"he could never call him that because a father doesn't do what he had done. "Son," more forceful this time. Someone shakes his shoulder and Peeta looks down at the man. "Your phone?" He points to where the sound is coming from. Peeta shakes out of it and quickly digs into his pocket. He had just gotten it, another gift from his grandmother. No one had the number, so Peeta wondered who it could possibly.

"Thank you." Peeta tells the man before walking out of the event to pick up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello? Is this Peeta Mellark?"

"It is."

"Hello, this is Dr. Carter from Memorial Center Hospital," Peeta's eyes go wide. What the hell could a doctor want with him. "I'm calling because you are the number one contact for Lucinda Mellark…" The doctor keeps talking but Peeta has long dropped his phone. He shoves his ticket into the valet's chest, scaring the crap out him as Peeta roars his haste to him. He basically yanks the valet out of the car and speeds off towards the hospital.

* * *

"Where is she?!" He yells at the attendant. She doesn't immediately respond making Peeta yell his question louder. Security makes its way over to them, restraining Peeta from his anger. He easily manages to push them off of him forcing them to call back up. It takes five cops to hold him back until he finally falls to his knees. "Is she dead?! Just tell me so that I can go lie in ditch?!" Tears fall from his eyes and it's probably the only thing that saves him from being arrested. Peeta calms down enough to explain who he's looking for and the doctor who called him attends to him.

The doctor explains that she's been living with a terminal illness for the past few years. Peeta blinks in confusion. Why hadn't she told him? The doctor explains further that she's at the end and the seizure she had tonight put her in need of life support. As per her wishes, she doesn't want to be left on life support.

"Did you do it already?!" Peeta yells, holding back more tears.

"No. I just found out about her request. She talked about you every time she was here and I wanted to see if you wanted to see her one last time before we-"

"I do." Peeta stands from his seat and follows the doctor to where his grandmother is. "Can I have a minute?" The doctor nods before he backs out of the room.

His heart beat was so fast as he looked at his grandmother. She had tubes attached to her mouth, more stemming from her shirt and her arm. Peeta swallows heavily before he pulls a seat and sits next to her. He grabs her hand tightly and bows his head, unable to hold back the tears anymore.

"Why?! Why do you all leave me?!" He rests his head against her arm as he cries harder. "What do I do without you?! I can't do this alone!" Peeta looks up at his grandmother and couldn't stand to see her like that. He understood why she wouldn't want to live this way. He brings his hand up to the life support machine, contemplating being the one who would end it for her. His hand freezes and he starts to shake in the realization that he was a coward. He turns his head from her and swallows all the feelings. He stands and bends over her to kiss her cheek one last time. "I love you."

There was a nurse waiting by the door when he finally exits. She takes a step to go into the room when Peeta grabs her arm. "It won't hurt, will it?" He asks her. She places a reassuring hand on the one gripped around her arm and shakes her head. He nods before releasing her.

"I'm so sorry." The doctor tries.

"Save it." Peeta says calmly.

"She wanted me to give you this when…" The doctor's unable to finish as he hands Peeta the box and walks away.

In a daze, Peeta makes his way to his car. He slams the door shut as he stares at the box his grandmother left for him. He slowly opens it and is surprised to find a watch. He pulls it out and searches through the box for anything, a note, a farewell, but there's nothing. He puts the box down so that he can eye the watch curiously. He didn't understand what it meant and why his grandmother had thought it an appropriate gift for her death. _As opposed to any other_, he thought. He turns the watch in his hand to unclasp it when it catches his eye; an engraving on the backside. He flips the light on in the car before getting a good look at it; _Peeta, be strong. Love Nama._ He tilts his head towards the ceiling and swallows painfully. He puts the watch on before the tears escape him. He slams his fists against the upholstery of the door and the steering wheel. He clutches the wheel painfully tight before his grief sets in.

He rests his forehead on the wheel as he tires out. "How?!" He screams into the silence. But it didn't matter. He had no one and nothing. He turns the key in the ignition and speeds away. Where he's going, he doesn't know. He just knows that he has to get away from everything.

* * *

He drives for two hours, going no where. He pulls over to the side of the street when he sees a crowd gathering in front of an establishment. He looks over and notices the bright neon _Bar_ sign. He turns the car off and gets out. As he makes his way across the street, he wonders if they'll let him drink; he was still a few months shy of his twenty-first birthday, but he really needed it. The only time he had ever done it was when Finn told him to. He remembers that when he did, he momentarily forgot about everything. Everything in his mind was wavy, almost like nothing was real. He felt nauseous afterward and he didn't want to do it again; he figured tonight was an exception.

"What's the strongest thing you have?" Peeta asks in a deep voice. As the bartender looks at him, it was clear that Peeta has had a long night. He finishes cleaning the glass in his hand before he walks over to him.

"You got money?" Is what he asks. All Peeta does is flash him the countless hundreds in his wallet before pulling one out.

"What will this get me? To start?" The man takes it and pours him shots of something.

"Just let me know when you want a refill." He says before he walks away.

* * *

When he got there it was night. By the time he walked out, the sun was shining. Stumbling out into the street, he regretted nothing. He'd spent the majority of his money buying everyone drinks; he was the favorite at the bar that night. The world was literally spinning and he was smiling like a goofball. He wasn't really drunk but his inexperience didn't do him well when it came to holding his liquor. He gave an exaggerated bow to his onlookers and laughed heartedly as he made his way to his car. The bartenders had switched shifts and the new one assumed that the previous one had taken his keys. He pulls the keys out of his pocket and hits the button, but it doesn't open. He brings the fob up to his eye and stares at it like it doesn't make any sense.

"Open." He pushes again. "Open." Nothing. "Open!" He yells before he throws the keys at the window. He stumbles off the curve, walking back over to the bench he saw on the other side of the street. He falls onto it and sighs complacently before falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

"Hey!" Someone shouts. "Hey!" They shake Peeta awake. He looks up at him with a slight headache, but still drunk. "Bus is here!" The person tells him as he stands and gets ready to get on. Peeta stands too and sways drunkenly. He does the same thing the man who had woke him does. The bus stops in front of them and they make their way up the stairs. He tries following the man further onto the bus, but the bus driver stops him.

"Bus pass!" He shouts at him making Peeta clutch his head painfully. He slowly reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out his wallet. He looks through it, opening his eyes wide trying to focus.

"I only have this many!" He stupidly says, flashing the driver three one hundred dollar bills. The man snatches them and gestures for Peeta to sit. Thankfully, the bus is empty so Peeta drops onto one of the seats and lays down falling asleep again.

A particularly big bump momentarily wakes him up. He blinks a few times and painfully cringes from his hangover. He remembered Finn had told him sleeping it off would help. Well, that was what he was going to do. His head hit the seat as he closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep again. At least once in his life, he'd feel nothing; no regret, hate, sadness, longing. A dreamless sleep on a bus headed no where would be the closest thing to peace Peeta would ever experience.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry this is late. I had some serious Christmas Eve/day itis. But here you have it, their meeting. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just working with the idea. **

* * *

"Hey!" Peeta doesn't shift in his sleep. "Hey, kid!" Peeta instantly sits up and regrets it as the headache still persists. "It's the end of the line kid!" The bus driver pulls him up to his feet. He leads him out to the curb and Peeta starts to walk away. "Hey!" The man calls back and Peeta stops walking. "Here!" He pulls Peeta's hand and gives him back two hundred dollars and change. "Next time, have change!"

"Thank you." Peeta starts walking away while reaching for his wallet. He pats all the pockets on his jacket, then his pants. He sighs. His wallet must have got jacked while he was out. "Oh well." He's about to keep walking when he panics. He reaches for his left wrist and instantly sighs in relief. Who ever had his wallet hadn't taken his watch. He plops down on the edge of the curb and runs his hands through his hair. As he looks up and assess his surroundings, he realizes that he doesn't know where he is. It was definitely a knew start to life. All he had was a couple hundred dollars, a watch, and the suit he was still wearing from the previous night.

"Come on!" Peeta watched a little girl run ahead of a young woman. She ran back and grabbed the woman's hand. "Come on!" She pushed.

"I'm going! You think this wagon is light!" She told the small girl. Peeta smiles a genuine smile. He had been around girls all his life, but never found the need or want to spend his time with any in a romantic way. They were definitely always into him but him, not so much. He watched as the older girl turned to the small girl and kneeled in front of her. This gave him the opportunity to really take a good look at her. She might have been a cross the street but he see she was none the less beautiful. Her eyes looked past the little girl and caught his. She was still talking but her eyes looked at him. He watches her place a kiss on the little girls forehead before she runs away in the other direction. The young woman stands with her eyes still trained on him. Peeta smiles at her and he catches the faintest of smiles before she quickly turns around and pulls the wagon.

Peeta chuckles as he gets to his feet. He hoped to god that she was his age, otherwise he was just and older creep trying to hit on a young girl. She looked like she was selling something from lugging those jars of whatever she had in that wagon. He reached in his pocket for some of the money, looked both ways, before he quickly runs across the street.

He's light on his feet as walks in step behind her. He smiles as her braid sways with her every step. She had the curves of a woman which Peeta couldn't help but admire. He cursed at himself; she could be of age, but she could very well be under it.

"Stop following me." The woman says.

"I'm just interested in what your selling." She stops walking allowing him to catch up.

"I've never seen you around." She looks him up and down.

"I'm not from here." He responds.

"So how do you know I'm selling something?" She watches him look down at the wagon before he reaches and pulls out a "For Sale" sign.

"How much?"

"Do you even know what they are?" She asks.

"Is it edible?" He looks at her and she nods. "I haven't eaten in who knows when…How much will this get me?" He gives her the twenty.

"For that I'd have to give you the wagon!" She laughs but then stops, like she's done something wrong.

"I'm sure the wagon is worth the twenty alone." He tells her. "But come on, I'm starving!" She hands him a jar and looks at the twenty in his hand.

"That will get you everything in here." She gestures to her supply.

"That's okay. I only want one." He tries to hand her the money.

"I don't have change." Peeta reaches for her hand and puts the money in it.

"That's okay." He looks at the jar then at the woman who hold a plastic fork up to him. "Oh. Thank you." Peeta takes it and opens the jar. He sticks the fork in a pulls out a piece of fruit. He eats it and it's delicious. He greedily chomps down on the rest of it before he looks over to the woman who stares at him curiously. "That was good! What is it?"

"Well, it's fruit. In a jar. I call it a fruit jar." She tells him as she quirks her eyebrow at him.

"Neat!" She makes a face at his term and Peeta bows his head to the side. _Neat?! Really?! _The young woman laughs and he instantly picks up his head. At least he made her laugh and it was a beautiful laugh. He smiles at her and lets out a chuckle.

"Are you from the city?" She asks.

"Why do you say that?" He asks and she answers by tugging on the collar of his suit.

"There's only one type of people that walk along in these. I'll give you, though, not around here."

"Katniss!" They turn their attention to a man yelling over to who he assumes is the young woman he was speaking to.

"I have to go." She grabs the handle to the wagon and gets ready to leave. Before she leaves she picks up one of the jars in the wagon and hands it to him. "Bye…Whoever you are."

"It's Peeta!" He yells to her and she just waves. Peeta wasn't sure, but he thinks he's in love. But he still hadn't found out how old she was…_Damn it. _

* * *

Peeta had been walking around for a couple hours that he was lost; not that he knew where he was anyway. He had saved the second jar of fruit for right now, when his stomach was pissed at him for not feeding it. He groaned appreciatively as he ate the fruit. He got it was a fruit jar, but it didn't taste like any damn fruit jar he'd eaten before. It had to have some sort of secret ingredient because it was delicious. He was suddenly grateful for Katniss. _Katniss_, even her name was heavenly.

He hummed happily as he walked the abandoned road. It wasn't dark yet, but it was getting there. He looks ahead and sees Katniss and the little girl from earlier stop as she comes out the front of a store. She hands the little girl the handle to the now empty wagon. Katniss still had one jar in her hand as she kneeled in front of the girl. The little girl nodded and walked towards another store.

Peeta watched Katniss head off in another direction. _God he really was following her. _He watched as she turned the corner into a particularly shady alley. His eyes narrowed as three men turned their attention towards his beauty Katniss. One laughed as he tapped his buddy and they all turned their attention towards the alley she was headed down. Peeta groaned. _Didn't girls know to NOT go down dark alleys alone? _He quickly devoured the remainder of his fruit before he threw the jar away and chased after them; if things went down the way he knew they would, he was going to need his strength.

* * *

"Hey beautiful!" Someone whistles to her. Katniss keeps on walking and she's almost out of the alley before he runs in front of her and stops her.

"What the hell do you want, Cato?"

"What do you think…" He caresses her cheek, but Katniss slaps his hand away making him chuckle.

"Will you just-" She turns but crashes into another body. Cato laughs darkly as Katniss turns back towards him.

"You've been such a tease for so long…" He draws out as he walks towards her. The men behind her must have moved as now she's back tracking and doesn't stop until her back hit's the wall.

"Whatever you're going to do, you won't get away with it…" Katniss tries. "Because unless you kill me, I'm coming for you." She hisses at him.

"And I thought I was the hero is this one." Another voice makes its presence known. Peeta walks out from the shadows, pushing one of Cato's goons out of the way to stand between Katniss and Cato.

"Huh, and what are you going to do?" Cato pokes at his chest. "It's me and my boys against you and your suit!" They all laugh in amusement.

"Two! Because I'm going to kick your ass!" Katniss tries to swing at him from behind Peeta, but he catches her arms. He wraps his arms around her waist making Katniss look up at him. He turns them some and begins pushing them out from the middle of the crowd.

"You will do no such thing! Now go!" Peeta commands.

"I don't know who you think I am, but you don't know them!" She points at Cato and his friends. "They'll kill you!"

"I'm not afraid to die." Peeta says darkly. Katniss looks into his eyes and is slightly stirred by what she sees. There's a sadness and loss in his eyes so deep that Katniss only thought belonged to her. What messed with her more, was that she knew the feeling; not being afraid of death. "And if what you say is true, you think I'd let you die or let them fulfill some dark, dirty fantasy of theirs on you?!" He whispers harshly in frustration.

"You don't even know me! Why are you doing this?!" They stare at each other for what feels like hours before Peeta's roughly pushed into Katniss. She stumbles pulling him down to the ground with her. He hovers above her, still gazing into her eyes. He brings his hand up to caress her face.

"Don't try and interfere. Please go." Unlike when Cato touched her, she wasn't repulsed with the fact that Peeta was touching her. Her and Cato had grown up together; even though she didn't know him now, there was a time when she did. But this stranger, Peeta, walks up to her out of no where and she turns into a chatterbox, a woman who suddenly craves the touch of a man, this man. Katniss places her hand on top of his, relishing in his warmth.

It doesn't last long as he's suddenly gripped by the collar and yanked to his feet. He's turned roughly towards the culprit. Peeta manages to parry one of the punches but someone else grabs his arms and another man punches Peeta in the face. Katniss is still a bit flustered from Peeta. She manages to get her bearings as she crawls on her elbows away from the fight. Katniss scrambles to her feet right before she see's her sister making her way back to her.

"Prim! Get Gale!" Katniss yells at her.

"What?" Little Prim looks at her sister bewildered.

"Get Gale!" Prim turns on her heels and runs back in the direction she came. Katniss turns back towards the alley just in time to see Cato and his buddies run out. Lucky for her they head in the opposite direction so Katniss can make clean break for the alley.

"Peeta!" She almost doesn't see him as he's thrown against a wall on the floor. "Oh my god!" She slides to her knees and cradles his head. She gets blood on her hands, but that's the last of her concerns as Peeta is out cold. Katniss rips a part of her shirt and cleans the wounds on his head as best she can.

"Katniss," she hears her sister yell.

"I'm here!" Prim and Gale turn the corner into the alley. Gale instantly focuses on Katniss and worriedly kneels down next to her.

"Are you okay?" He asks as he checks her for injuries.

"I'm fine." She tries. Gale touches her face again and Katniss pulls away. "I'm fine!" she knew her blood covered clothing was not helping her claim. "Help me with him." She eyes Peeta making Gale do a double take.

"Who is he?" Gale takes over for Katniss and pulls Peeta into his arms.

"It doesn't matter! Help me get him to my mom!"

"Why?" Gale looks down at him and definitely notices the torn suit he was wearing. "He's one of them isn't he?!"

"Gale! Shut up and help me!" She shouts at him as she grabs her sister's hand and drags her out of the alley. Katniss didn't know what the hell she was doing. What would her mother say when she walked into their house with a strange man? A man she found incredibly charming even though they had spoken very little. She was happy that Prim didn't ask any questions on the way home.


	4. Chapter 4

**So sorry for the delay but here is the next update. Thank you again for all the ongoing support. It truly is appreciated. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just working with the idea. **

* * *

"Mom! Mom!" Prim runs into the house and embraces her mother as strongly as her little arms could.

"What is it, sweetie?" Her mother runs her hand soothingly through her baby girl's hair.

"Mom!" Katniss gets her attention. Her eyes go wide when she sees a bloodied man hanging off Gale.

"Oh my! Bring him here!" Her mother quickly moves the center table from the middle of the living room and motions to the couch. Gale drags him over and tries heaving Peeta onto it. Peeta almost falls to the ground in the attempt, but Katniss is there to catch him. Her mother helps her lay him on the couch and Katniss turns towards Gale pushing him roughly.

"What?"

"That was on purpose, you jerk!" She shouts as she pushes harder.

"He slipped." Katniss pushes him towards the door.

"Get out!"

"A _thank you_ would have sufficed." Katniss glares at him and Gale puts his hands up in defeat before he walks out.

"Mom?" Her mother looks at Katniss.

"Prim, get me some water. Katniss, help me undress him." Prim runs off to do what she's told while Katniss freezes in place.

"Why do we have to take off his clothes?" Her mother looks up at her quickly, then reaches for the hem of his jacket. She flips it so Katniss can see the blood seeping through base of his shirt meeting where it was tucked.

"I need to see what happened." Her mom pulls his shirt from it's place and begins to unbutton it. She looks up at Katniss who is still rooted in place. "Prim!"

"I'm coming! I can barely reach the tap!" She's heard down the hall.

"Don't worry about it! Come switch with your sister!" Their mother yells and Prim comes running back. "Katniss, get the water." She nods dumbly before heading off.

Katniss slams her fists on the edge of the counter in frustration to how she was acting. She had seen plenty of naked men in her life and, on many occasions, she was the one who had helped her mother undress and clean them. But all of a sudden, she was bashful and couldn't stand to see a man she _actually _wanted to see naked in that way? What was happening to her? And when did she, all of a sudden, have the desire to see what a man was working with underneath his clothes? She growled angrily as she filled the basin with water.

"Katniss!"

"I'm coming!" Katniss makes her way back to the living room, placing the basin on the floor. She was both pleased and disappointed to see Peeta laying there in his boxer briefs. She couldn't help but notice how handsome he was, even in his sleep. His blonde hair was in disarray, the lines of his face were perfect, almost like he had been meticulously sculpted from marble. His chin in particular was edged so sharply that she was sure he could cut something with it. Katniss remembered their interaction from earlier, where his bright blue eyes shined wonderfully from the reflection of the sun on them and the small, but evident dimples that graced his face when he smiled. It brought a smile to her own face as she reminisced. Her eyes trailed downward where his strong muscular arms laid like logs next to him. His chest rose steadily and oddly, it brought a sense of relief to her to know that he was alive. His breathing stuttered momentarily and Katniss got a glimpse of his toned abs as they contracted. She took a deep breath and shook her head; she couldn't think of him like that.

Katniss moved her hand to the side and flinched when it rested on something really cold. Her eyes caught on to a shiny surface resting on the top of Peeta's discarded clothing. She grabbed the object and eyed it strangely. It was a watch. She didn't know much about them but she could tell that it was very expensive. She turned the watch over examining it to notice the sentiment on the back: _Be strong_. It was a strange sentiment to put on a watch but it must be something between him and whoever _Nama_ was.

She put the watch on the table then sifted through his clothing. "Mom, should I wash these?"

"No honey. You don't wash those." Her mother dips the towel back into the water before turning to look at Katniss. "Can you go get some of the clothes in the back of the closet?" Katniss froze again as stared at her mother.

"But that's Dad's stuff…"

"I know, but we don't want him to walk around naked do we?" She pointed back at Peeta before turning her attention fully to him.

Katniss trudged upstairs and stood in the doorway of what used to be her parent's room. She stared at the closet that used to her father's, sighing heavily before reaching it and opening the door. Katniss traces the edges of her father's old shirts. She smiled as she looked through them and remembered what it was like when he was still alive.

Life had been so much easier when he was around. Katniss hated to admit when she or her family needed help, but they did. The farm they lived on was a lot of hard work; work she quickly realized why it was meant for men. At least when her father was alive, he did all the hard work. Katniss never knew how much work it really was and regretted never appreciating him more for it. It was still a lot for one man to do, but he had never complained or asked for any of his girls' help.

He fell ill a few years back; all of them did. They had managed to get enough medicine for the four of them but her father didn't come through. The medicine seemed to make his illness worse and his body only took so much before it finally caved. Everyone had cried next to his death bed; everyone except Katniss. She had saved that moment for private, when she ran to the barn late at night when everyone was asleep. She cried her eyes out until she fell asleep from exhaustion.

Life became hard for so many reasons after. Working the fields with the machines was easy, but when they had to sell most of it just to be able to afford living, it got real tough. They had to do all the work by hand and if it was hard before, it was a hundred times worse now. Not to mention, that it was time consuming and left little time to do anything else.

They also knew nothing about all the paperwork that went into owning the farm. Her father had always been on top of that too. Apparently, they had screwed up somewhere or her father did and never told them because, now, they didn't own the farm. When the contract, lease, or whatever it was called had to be renewed, the terms changed. They no longer owned any of the crops that grew on the land because whoever was in charge, paid for the seeds. So they had to work the land for no profit, the only upside being that they had some place to live. All the crops were picked up by the end of the season by a truck and taken away for sale someplace else. Not even their town folk were good enough for the crops. It was all so confusing.

The little money they had saved, they invested in some seeds, it being the only thing they could afford for themselves. They planted them on a small plot of land on the side of their house and that's what they used to have their own fruits and vegetables. But they could only live off fruits and vegetables for so long. They took to making her father's old fruit mix recipe to sell for some actual money that they would use to stock up for the off season.

Today had been a rare, but cherished, off day for them and it was the only reason why Katniss and Prim had been in town. But she was never in luck's good graces because every time she was having a good day, it always turned into some hell. Today, she had sold all her jars and made some extra money from Peeta's _donation. _Katniss didn't feel right about taking his money and not giving him his share; she felt that she owed him, but never expected to see him again after she walked away. He had to show up when Cato was about to do who knows what to her and now she owed him more than she could give him. She looked up at her father's clothing and quickly pulled a shirt and pants from one of the hangers; for now, they would be a start to her paying him back.

She raced down the stairs just about to enter the living room when her mother walked out and stops her. She takes the clothes from Katniss and gives them to Prim.

"Leave those on the table. Let him sleep." She tells Prim before gently pushing Katniss to the kitchen. "Sit." Her mother tells her. "What happened?"

"Mom, he was bleeding bad and unconscious and I didn't know what to do! So I brought him here!" Katniss tells her.

"And how did he get hurt?" She eyes her daughter.

"He was protecting me." Katniss looks to the floor. "Cato said I was being a tease and then he came for me and Peeta was there. I never meant for him to get hurt."

"I know." She gently rubs Katniss' arm. "So, Peeta…when did you have time for introductions?"

Katniss blushes before she looks up. "He bought some of our fruit earlier…"

"Is that all?" Her mom pushes making Katniss scowl at her. "What? You blush for all the people that buy fruit from you like that?"

"Mom!"

"I'm just saying Katniss." Her mother laughs quietly, enjoying her daughter's discomfort. "So do you know where he's from?"

"I know he's not from here."

"Damn straight!" Her mother mumbles a bit too loudly. "I'm sorry Katniss, where are my manners?"

"Mom. I'm a grown woman. You don't have to watch your language with me."

"I still don't want you developing bad habits." They laugh together until Prim walks in.

"Mom, what do I do with his clothes?" Prim hands them to her mom who sighs remorsefully.

"It's a shame to throw these away…" Katniss looks down at the clothes. It was a suit and any suit was worth a good amount of money. "This one in particular! Do you know how much this thing is worth?" Her mother asks rhetorically.

"Even ruined it would fetch some good money, huh?" Katniss picks at the clothes as she says it.

"I don't know… maybe I'll try and fix it up for him." She sighs.

"How is he?" Katniss asks.

"Well, he'll live to start. Cato did a good job on him though."

"It wasn't just him. It was his friends too. Do you think we should tell the police?"

"It would be your word against his."

"And Peeta's." Katniss adds, but her mother avoids her gaze. "What are you not telling me?"

"He took a good blow to the head. He has a lump on the back of it the size of a baseball. I'll be surprised if he doesn't have brain damage. If he wakes up." Katniss swallows heavily. When he said he wasn't afraid to die, she never thought it could be a possibility. "Katniss, get some sleep. There's nothing else we can do tonight. We'll just have to wait until tomorrow." She stands and gives Katniss a kiss on the head.

"Night, Mom."

"You too little one." Her mom kisses Prim before heading off to bed.

"Katniss?" Prim sits up on the stool their mother was just occupying. "I hope he's okay. He's kind of cute." Prim says innocently. Katniss only smiles.

"I hope so too. Now, go to bed."

They kiss goodnight before Prim skips away to her room. Katniss sighs as she turns the light off in the kitchen and makes her way back over to the living room. She reaches for the lamp to turn it off when the shine off the watch on the table catches her eye. She sits on the table next the watch and picks it up. Her eyes flicker to Peeta's sleeping form. She picks up his arm which was hanging from the couch. She slips the watch onto his wrist before lowering her lips to his hand and kissing it.

"Be strong, Peeta."


End file.
